The power of what we believe

I’ve been wanting to blog about the power of what we believe for a while. It was sparked by watching a film and reading a book about two boys from two different countries who had, what at first seemed like to very different experiences, but as I reflected on the powerful effect they had on me I realised that what had united them in their experiences was the sense that they were both in a prison of believing they belonged to no one and that no one cared about them.

 The first was the young boy in the film ‘I am David’ (based on the novel by Ann Holm),  who escaped from a prisoner of war camp aged 12 years old,  believing his parents were dead. The other was  Paul abandoned by his mother at 2 weeks old, found by a neighbour in amongst the rubbish, who was brought up in the notorious St Leonard’s children’s’ home in the 70’s (where paedophiles gained access to senior care worker positions and routine abused 100’s of children placed in their care.)  Just before David escaped from the prisoner of war camp, with the help of a German officer, he was told “Trust no one”. Paul’s experiences in the London children’s home taught him “trust no one”- because of their early experiences both of them believed they were worth nothing & didn’t deserve anything good to happen to them.

There is power in what we believe about ourselves.

What we believe impacts on how we behave. If you don’t believe you are worth anything then why does it matter if you wreck your body with alcohol and drugs and casual sex who cares anyway? How do you ever learn that God created you, in His image, as a unique human being who He loved & cared so much about you that He allowed His only son to be sacrificed in your place?

Many of our visitors have experienced rejection, abuse- sexual, emotional and physical, and from this they have believe that they are not worth anything to anybody.  However, with the help and support of the staff and volunteers here at Northampton Jesus Centre they find hope and begin to believe in themselves. 

A quote which I've decided to include in our annual report, from one of our volunteers, who started life as a visitor reminds of the importance of giving our visitors a chance

 
" Working at the Jesus Centre has given me the coherence to deal with difficult situations and people. I know I’ve changed for a better person since I’ve worked here.

I’d like to thank the staff for standing by me and offering me a chance and investing time in me.

The Jesus centre and its staff have inspired me to do better. The Jesus Centre truly is a place where everyone is valued – even me”

Welcome home

The death of visitors always causes you to reflect. Did we do all that we could have done? Did they experience the love of God through what we did do for them? Where are they now?  It reminds us how fragile some our visitors’ lives are and how important it is that they are made to feel welcome and at home.

             

We have a picture painted for us in our Step up, drop in space- it has many worn and lost faces – young old, black white with the title ‘ Welcome Home’ . When I look at it each morning it reminds me why I am doing what I am doing. Whether our visitors’ find a relationship with God  for themselves is not always  certain but as long as they find home – a place where they feel they are welcomed, accepted, valued and safe then they are already half way on the journey.

If your experience has taught you, that no one can be trusted;  how do learn to trust that not all fathers beat you or abuse you or let you down and that there is a heavenly father who is perfect in His love for you and who is totally trust worthy?

Part of the answer lies somewhere in a comment made to me in an attempt to help some of the sadness that I felt over the tragic end to these two visitors’ lives.

“ May be they saw enough of Jesus in us , that when they meet Him face to face they will recognise Him and that will be enough for Him to welcome them in.”

 Noddy Holder belting out "I wish it could be Christmas every day" seems to follow me around wherever I go at the moment. But do we really? All that frantic rushing around trying to find the perfect present for the partner who's impossible to buy for or the kids who think you earn a 6 figure sum each month and write their list to Santa accordingly. 

All that socialising with family or friends you barely speak to from one year to the next, and excessive eating that leaves us bloated, lethargic and with a few more pounds to shift (possibly at the Gym that this year we WILL join & we WILL go to.. unlike last year when we joined & went twice & by February had forgotten why we'd joined)?

Alright before I sound like a Scrooge muttering Bah Humbug to dampen your Christmas Spirit I do realise that's not all it's about. The trouble is that each year, due to more desperate marketing in a bid to reach sales targets which require us to spend money we'll spend the rest of the year paying back, it feels like any possible good bits get more squuezed out. Things like: time to relax and unwind from work, reflect on the old year and prepare for the next, bless those we love, share what we have with those in need or even celebrate or at least spare a thought that allegedly the reason we're participating in this consumer frenzy is because of the gift God gave to the world of His son Jesus.


However, for some it is a painful and lonely time that merely accentuates their feelings of social isolation.

Maybe you've lost someone you loved who wont be there to share the celebrations with you
May be you suffer with depression and feel like you've endured the long dark nights for too long 
Or may be you are estranged from your family and friends for some reason and the thought that everyone else has people to turn to at this time simply accentuates your loneliness.*

Whilst suicide rates are lowest in December than at any other time of the year** there is a sharp 40% increase after Christmas in the week leading up to New Year, possibly for some of the reasons I've mentioned. 

The Samaritans report that the highest rates of suicide are for men aged 40-44years old (in Northern Ireland this drops to 25-29 years old), with a sharp increase again in men over 80 years of age. Men are 3 1/2 times more likely, according to their report, to commit suicide than women. (This doesnot however include statistics where the intention is unclear and may be classed as accidental or indeterminate, which may account for some of the discrepancy, men tending to choose more definate and final methods than women)

Advice from Healthline ( a privately owned provider of health information, based in the US) to help overcome depression or social isoloation which may be caused by grief or estrangement from family is:

1. Begin a new tradition- do something different at this time of year- go away, go somewhere different.

2. Give yourself some space to grieve- don't feel pressured by the pressure of all the extra social opportunities

3. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or offer to help a neighbour- remember it's in giving we often receive.

4. Get back to nature- make the most of the time, get on your walking boots and enjoy the fresh air. 


Here at the Northampton Jesus Centre we will be open over the holiday period thanks to a team of faithful volunteers, for just this reason. 

Opening Times
Christmas Eve 7-9.30pm our Step Up scheme is open for anyone on their own. 
Christmas Day- 10.30am- 1.30pm - come & join us for food and friendship
Boxing Day  11.30-1.30pm - we'll be serving a hot meal- fun, food and friendship
 New Years eve 7.30-9pm We will have a special edition of our Stay Dry recovery group for those who are battling with addictions- come and find friends and support. Contact us if you'd like more information about this group.

If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal please find someone to talk to.
The Samaritans run a 24 hr helpline you can contact them on 08457 90 90 90


Or find out if there is a Jesus Centre near you & pop in for a cuppa & a chat.  jesuscentre.org.uk


If you'd like to donate to help support our services to vulnerable and socially isolated people text JACT00 £10 to 70070

Help us to help them to start again

* information supplied by Healthline
** information from, the Samaritans report on Suicide rates based on 2012 figures.

Eating well when the chips are down

It's not difficult to notice that everyone's feeling the squeeze on their finances

Every time I fill up the car with petrol it seems to cost a little bit more. The media carries stories hi-lighting the impact of Fuel Poverty, changes to housing benefit & council tax benefit, meaning some people are having to move to down size their accommodation or face additional rent & council tax payments. Universal credit and PIP will mean changes in who can receive certain benefits and the amount some people receive; the increasing use of Food Banks hi-lights the level to which some people are already struggling.

 One young woman came in the other day. in her own words "she wouldn't normally ask for help", but she appeared to have tried everywhere else. She illustrated to me the way that the current economic and employment climate is impacting on a wider range of people than usually. Normally, in work, she was currently between jobs and waiting for her JSA claim to start and due to the abnormally severe weather conditions was about to run out of money for the electric meter. Her energy supplier was sympathetic but couldn't help. Her daughter was 6 years old, insulin dependent, needed her medication stored in a fridge, was there anything we could do to help?


Or the middle aged woman who is having to move home, from the flat she loves, or face an paying the extra £56 from her JSA to cover her 2nd bedroom that will no longer be covered by Housing benefit. 

 Or the older man, who told one of our helpers that he'd got to decide whether to buy food for the next week or put money in the electric meter.

Here at the Jesus Centre we are trying to respond and prepare for the impact of the benefit changes by ensuring our groups and services are able to respond to these needs.

We already run Money Worries- a weekly service that gives people debt advice, negotiates debt re-payments and gives advice on budgeting. 

We are in the middle of our 5 week Money Course which includes an additional week on how to save money on your fuel bills. 

Later in the year we intend to launch a new service Keep warm- where, (subject to funding) we hope to be able to offer people small grants to assist with energy saving measures and advice on choosing the best tariff for their energy usage to keep their bills down. 

We are becoming a Food Bank distribution point and continue to offer free drinks, a shower and laundry facilities to those in need in our Step Up scheme.

In addition we provide a number of groups that can provide support and increase people's Wellbeing by offering support in a relaxed, informal environment and opportunities to make friends.

Basic Cooking - which will include how to cook on a budget starts in mid April. Eat Well- lose weight- will show you how eating right & staying healthy need not cost the earth.

For more information on these and other of our groups check out northampton.jesuscentre.org.uk or call in and register at our Info Desk.

Why we need men that care

I've been thinking about the impact of fatherless alot recently. Both my husband and I have experienced it in different ways. My husband's father died when he was 6 months old so he never really knew him and my father died suddenly during my first year at university. We're both very aware of the impact this has had on our lives, as adults. We both work at the Jesus Centre in our Step up project which reaches out to the homeless, roofless and vulnerably housed. Statistically up to 85% of them will have experienced some form of fatherlessness.

This may include an emotionally absent father, physically absent, passive or aggressive father.  Some of the documented issues fatherlessness creates for young men who experience it include:

* Anger
* Insecurities about who they are
* Fierce independence 
* lack of trust in authority
* competativeness
* inability to share their feelings  
* inability to relate to their own children 

Consequently they struggle to relate to the notion of God as a loving father who is there for them.

 So what's that got to do with needing men who care? Well, it got me thinking because we're recruiting a new Deputy manager, Drop in manager and personal development worker at the Jesus Centre at the moment. Statistically, according to the latest figures in 'The UK voluntary sector workforce Almanac' 68% of staff in the voluntary sector are woman. 


As a species women are generally much better suited to the nurturing, caring role which is why so many will go for jobs where they can teach, help and support people to make improvements in their lives

However, statistically here at the Jesus Centre 75% of our visitors to the Step Up project are male. 55% of our total visitors to the Jesus Centre are male. That's an awful lot of men who will be effected by issues of fatherlessness. They need men who can positively model fathering to them if we want them to even begin to relate to God their heavenly father.


Men who can help them learn how to find forgiveness for their fathers and release for their anger
Men who have found their security in who God says they are 
Men who can support them show them it's ok to be vulnerable and admit your need for other people
Men who are trustworthy and will be true to their word
Men who will listen and encourage them to share their feelings
Men who will relate to them and teach them how to relate as fathers to their own children.

As the saying goes "Anyone can be a dad.. it takes a man to be a father"
Are you man enough to take up the challenge to be a father to this fatherless generation?