Welcome home

The death of visitors always causes you to reflect. Did we do all that we could have done? Did they experience the love of God through what we did do for them? Where are they now?  It reminds us how fragile some our visitors’ lives are and how important it is that they are made to feel welcome and at home.

             

We have a picture painted for us in our Step up, drop in space- it has many worn and lost faces – young old, black white with the title ‘ Welcome Home’ . When I look at it each morning it reminds me why I am doing what I am doing. Whether our visitors’ find a relationship with God  for themselves is not always  certain but as long as they find home – a place where they feel they are welcomed, accepted, valued and safe then they are already half way on the journey.

If your experience has taught you, that no one can be trusted;  how do learn to trust that not all fathers beat you or abuse you or let you down and that there is a heavenly father who is perfect in His love for you and who is totally trust worthy?

Part of the answer lies somewhere in a comment made to me in an attempt to help some of the sadness that I felt over the tragic end to these two visitors’ lives.

“ May be they saw enough of Jesus in us , that when they meet Him face to face they will recognise Him and that will be enough for Him to welcome them in.”

 Noddy Holder belting out "I wish it could be Christmas every day" seems to follow me around wherever I go at the moment. But do we really? All that frantic rushing around trying to find the perfect present for the partner who's impossible to buy for or the kids who think you earn a 6 figure sum each month and write their list to Santa accordingly. 

All that socialising with family or friends you barely speak to from one year to the next, and excessive eating that leaves us bloated, lethargic and with a few more pounds to shift (possibly at the Gym that this year we WILL join & we WILL go to.. unlike last year when we joined & went twice & by February had forgotten why we'd joined)?

Alright before I sound like a Scrooge muttering Bah Humbug to dampen your Christmas Spirit I do realise that's not all it's about. The trouble is that each year, due to more desperate marketing in a bid to reach sales targets which require us to spend money we'll spend the rest of the year paying back, it feels like any possible good bits get more squuezed out. Things like: time to relax and unwind from work, reflect on the old year and prepare for the next, bless those we love, share what we have with those in need or even celebrate or at least spare a thought that allegedly the reason we're participating in this consumer frenzy is because of the gift God gave to the world of His son Jesus.


However, for some it is a painful and lonely time that merely accentuates their feelings of social isolation.

Maybe you've lost someone you loved who wont be there to share the celebrations with you
May be you suffer with depression and feel like you've endured the long dark nights for too long 
Or may be you are estranged from your family and friends for some reason and the thought that everyone else has people to turn to at this time simply accentuates your loneliness.*

Whilst suicide rates are lowest in December than at any other time of the year** there is a sharp 40% increase after Christmas in the week leading up to New Year, possibly for some of the reasons I've mentioned. 

The Samaritans report that the highest rates of suicide are for men aged 40-44years old (in Northern Ireland this drops to 25-29 years old), with a sharp increase again in men over 80 years of age. Men are 3 1/2 times more likely, according to their report, to commit suicide than women. (This doesnot however include statistics where the intention is unclear and may be classed as accidental or indeterminate, which may account for some of the discrepancy, men tending to choose more definate and final methods than women)

Advice from Healthline ( a privately owned provider of health information, based in the US) to help overcome depression or social isoloation which may be caused by grief or estrangement from family is:

1. Begin a new tradition- do something different at this time of year- go away, go somewhere different.

2. Give yourself some space to grieve- don't feel pressured by the pressure of all the extra social opportunities

3. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or offer to help a neighbour- remember it's in giving we often receive.

4. Get back to nature- make the most of the time, get on your walking boots and enjoy the fresh air. 


Here at the Northampton Jesus Centre we will be open over the holiday period thanks to a team of faithful volunteers, for just this reason. 

Opening Times
Christmas Eve 7-9.30pm our Step Up scheme is open for anyone on their own. 
Christmas Day- 10.30am- 1.30pm - come & join us for food and friendship
Boxing Day  11.30-1.30pm - we'll be serving a hot meal- fun, food and friendship
 New Years eve 7.30-9pm We will have a special edition of our Stay Dry recovery group for those who are battling with addictions- come and find friends and support. Contact us if you'd like more information about this group.

If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal please find someone to talk to.
The Samaritans run a 24 hr helpline you can contact them on 08457 90 90 90


Or find out if there is a Jesus Centre near you & pop in for a cuppa & a chat.  jesuscentre.org.uk


If you'd like to donate to help support our services to vulnerable and socially isolated people text JACT00 £10 to 70070

Help us to help them to start again

* information supplied by Healthline
** information from, the Samaritans report on Suicide rates based on 2012 figures.

Why we need men that care

I've been thinking about the impact of fatherless alot recently. Both my husband and I have experienced it in different ways. My husband's father died when he was 6 months old so he never really knew him and my father died suddenly during my first year at university. We're both very aware of the impact this has had on our lives, as adults. We both work at the Jesus Centre in our Step up project which reaches out to the homeless, roofless and vulnerably housed. Statistically up to 85% of them will have experienced some form of fatherlessness.

This may include an emotionally absent father, physically absent, passive or aggressive father.  Some of the documented issues fatherlessness creates for young men who experience it include:

* Anger
* Insecurities about who they are
* Fierce independence 
* lack of trust in authority
* competativeness
* inability to share their feelings  
* inability to relate to their own children 

Consequently they struggle to relate to the notion of God as a loving father who is there for them.

 So what's that got to do with needing men who care? Well, it got me thinking because we're recruiting a new Deputy manager, Drop in manager and personal development worker at the Jesus Centre at the moment. Statistically, according to the latest figures in 'The UK voluntary sector workforce Almanac' 68% of staff in the voluntary sector are woman. 


As a species women are generally much better suited to the nurturing, caring role which is why so many will go for jobs where they can teach, help and support people to make improvements in their lives

However, statistically here at the Jesus Centre 75% of our visitors to the Step Up project are male. 55% of our total visitors to the Jesus Centre are male. That's an awful lot of men who will be effected by issues of fatherlessness. They need men who can positively model fathering to them if we want them to even begin to relate to God their heavenly father.


Men who can help them learn how to find forgiveness for their fathers and release for their anger
Men who have found their security in who God says they are 
Men who can support them show them it's ok to be vulnerable and admit your need for other people
Men who are trustworthy and will be true to their word
Men who will listen and encourage them to share their feelings
Men who will relate to them and teach them how to relate as fathers to their own children.

As the saying goes "Anyone can be a dad.. it takes a man to be a father"
Are you man enough to take up the challenge to be a father to this fatherless generation?  

The comfort of strangers

 I was reading an article in a newspaper the other day; the title and accompanying graphic caught my attention. It was about the impact that small acts of kindness from strangers at times of crisis can have on us. .."because they are strangers...their kindness takes on extra significance" (1)

It made me think of how a little can go along way in our work at Northampton Jesus Centre. In the last few weeks I've had 2 middle aged women come in just for some one to talk to, both battling with depression and feeling there was no one to turn to; so they sought out the listening ear of a stranger. 

This photograph is symbolic in most people's minds of the compassion in action during the aftermath of the 7/11 London bombings. A day full of tragedy, but also many stories of the kindness of strangers in the midst of devestation and horrorific images of suffering. It is a reminder, the article goes on to say that "we need each other".

In our social- media obsessed generation where we have more possibilities to be connected with strangers than ever before, why is it that people feel more isolated and alone than ever before too?

The writer goes on to suggest "that the significance of a strangers actions become imprinted on us when our survival is called into question"  (1)

 

This was true for Sid who tells his story on your Tube "Socks- Northampton Jesus Centre". During the lowest point in his life, where he was being swallowed up by a sense of aloneness and alcohol the small act of kindness from a total stranger in laundering and folding his socks, transformed his life, allowing him to feel connected to another human being, he had never met, who cared about him.

 

 "In times of trouble these moments of connection remind us what it is to be human" (1)

Here at Northampton Jesus Centre we rely on a team of faithful volunteers, who each day will become some one's hero; not because they do anything dramatic or extravagant, but simply because they are there when a new visitor, in crisis, walks through the door. Many of them only come once but in that one encounter is the possibility to re-connect someone, in difficulty, with the fact they are human,because another human being has shown they care about them.

 
(1) All quotes from Jon Bauer's article "The comfort of strangers" Tuesday 23rd October 2012,article in The I.